Horrible Isn't It?
by Tweedle Laney
Summary: Just a short drabble. These feelings of hate for the outsider were far more than the black rabbit could understand- but was it really only just hatred making him feel so conflicted? (Hinted Sidney/Alice)


Anyone who follows me on Tumblr saw my short little thing here. I finally got to Sidney's route in Mirror World, and this man is precious. Like I never loved any character as much as him. He and Julius and Joker are all tied for my heart not orz anyway. have a thing.

-x-

His pen scratched against the papers as he called out to her, footsteps brisk in pace as she rushed to the designated file for his papers. With every order he barked at her, she obeyed in a timely fashion, racing to the next drop off point, until nothing more remained. Her steps came to a slow and finally to a halt before him.

"Good work today" the outsider gave an exhausted huff before landing ungracefully onto the black couch. The black rabbit stood from his desk, circling it to grasp a cup and pitcher of water. He extended his arm to offer it to her, which she took with a nod, fingers brushing against his own softly as she drew back with the cup, flashing a small smile. The prime ministers chest tightened as he watched her, heterochromatic eyes examining every movement she made, slowly registering the expression on her face.

Such a strange outsider...

Yet he yearned to connect with her. How could a stupid woman effect him this way? How this girl, specifically one thought to be Peter Whites mistress, make him feel so conflicted?

She truly was irritating to behold, he couldn't stand her, that stupid stupid girl- and yet he wanted nothing more than to take her, to hold her, to make her so corrupt that she would be too ashamed to return to the side of the white rabbit she loved so much.

He had so much he wanted to say to her, to tell her, but the words all died on his tongue with every smile she gave. A simple curve of her lips or a simple sentence from her mouth could leave him silent, even when they argued over the most pointless things.

The speechlessness, the dull ache in his chest... Was this love?

No, it couldn't be. He hated this girl, he hated her so much... For loving one who had everything he ever wanted, only to toss it aside as trash. Peter White had a loving family, something Sidney desired and longed for but was denied. He was surrounded by love, even this girl who loved him so much. Yet he killed his family that gave him that warmth and fulfillment...

And this girl, so precious to the White Rabbit could never see anything but White in him.

_'Peter would do this...' _

_'I'm not the white rabbit...'_

_'Peter always acted this way...'_

_'I'm NOT the white rabbit...!'_

_'He would call me like this...'_

No matter what he did, he could never compare to the man who brought her to this world. Nothing he did would ever be enough to surpass the white rabbit in Alice's eyes... Nothing...

"Sidney, are you alright...?" The soft voice of the outsider snapped Sidney from his thoughts. Alice stared up at him, eyebrows knitted together as she placed her cup down on the table. "I'm worried, do you feel OK? You look pale-" as her hand pressed against his forehead, he could only recoil at the forbidden touch.

He turned on his heel and put the pitcher on his desk. "I-It's nothing. I'm only tired" he growled in reply. What was this ache in his chest? The way it tightened when she spoke of the prime minister of hearts? It did the same when she would touch him or grace him with that smile... That warm smile that tore down his hateful front...

He remembered a quote from a book he once read... 'Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside and mess you up'

He hated her, he hated how she wormed her way into his heart, and how weak it made him feel. But he hated loving her more than anything. More life itself, and the pain that came with loving her.

-x-

I must be the queen of procrastination if it takes me two years to finish a fic... But I'm literally almost done with the final chapter of Alice's Black Butler, and I've somewhat started planning the first chapter of its short sequel story.

Ive be also been writing the second chapter of Happiness Follows. If anything, that's taking up more of my attention than Alice's Black Butler.

i don't know if I'll continue Different Point of View. I've learned so much more about Blood through the games and it hurts to write him as a misogynist asshole. So I might leave that to rot. But yeah! Short update! I graduated and am going to college in the fall! I swear I will update these stories by then! Thanks for reading and sticking with me! Don't be afraid to kick my ass into gear via tumblr or inbox! Domo!


End file.
